There are definitely some benefits to getting in shape. Some even might convince you to take it up:
Increased energy, weight loss (or muscle gain if thats what you’re into), decreased risk of heart disease, arthritis and diabetes. We all know that, but there are negative effects too…
It really is a night-mare for you and everyone around you when you start improving your strength, nutrition and general fitness. Here are a couple of reasons why you shouldn’t start training of any kind.
Number 1: Your clothes won’t fit anymore.
it doesn’t matter what your goal is in training; Muscle gain or fat loss. You will definitely have to buy some new clothes to either: 1. out of necessity because your old clothes are too big or small or 2. Show of your new physique. Shopping is a pain in the ass so don’t bother.
Number 2: It’s Sore
Your legs and body in general get a couple of aches and pains two or three days per week. What a pain in the ass that is (literally). spend their entire life in ‘bad pain’ like having sore backs, poor posture and arthritis but this muscular pain that actually makes you feel alive and like you are actually doing something with your life. F*ck that. Give me the chronic back pain and daily headaches any day… (said no-one ever).
Number 3: It’s Bad Manners
I was discussing this with a client the other day, he said he keeps bumping into people when he’s walking through the pub, knocking people over in football and slamming doors by mistake because he is bigger and stronger. This will subside in time and his nervous system will get used to the new size and strength but he’d better quit now just in case somebody gets offended.
Number 4: You’re too old, It’s too late.
Training can be hard work. if you’re over 35 there is no point in starting. You’re already over the hill. Get some cake, have a coffee and sit in the cafe scorning all of the ‘gym bunnies’ and ‘meat heads’ that look good in their clothes and t-shirts walking by. Sure, they aren’t enjoying their life sweating in the gym two or three hours per week (out of 168). You are enjoying yourself sitting there sweating while doing nothing. Bliss.
Number 5: Life’s too short
Why waste time training and eating right when you could be enjoying yourself watching Emmerdale or Coronation street? You could even be ordering a take out because you don’t have time to cook. Right? It takes longer to cook a meal than it takes to order and wait 45 minutes for a delivery to arrive. In that precious time you could be watching the ads on TV and browsed through 3 or 4 channels of stuff you have no interest in. It’s a no brainer.
Bonus: The little things
There are a whole range of annoying little things that happen when you start training. You get better sleep, you actually start to like healthy food, your libido goes through the roof, you lose squidgy bits around your waist and back of your arms, you put on muscle, increase strength and you might even see a disgusting vein in your arm (ewwww).
Yea, it just isn’t worth it.
That being said a lot of people do it anyway strangely enough. Why? I don’t know.
If you want to engage in any of these useless activities then give us a shout and we will arrange a consultation with you. Just reply to this email.
Bryan Kavanagh BSc CSCS
Here are just some of the ways in which these people ‘torture’ themselves a couple of times per week.
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